


Ojiro is a Monkey

by Flux_Uchiha



Series: Veggie Tales Songs with MHA [1]
Category: VeggieTales, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Mina and Denki being adorable friends, Ojiro is a Monkey and you can fight me, The monkey song was on loop while I wrote, They get to sing, if it doesn't have a tail its not a monkey its an ape, the monkey song from veggie tales, utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flux_Uchiha/pseuds/Flux_Uchiha
Summary: Mina has an epiphany and drags Denki into it. Ojiro is very confused.
Relationships: Ashido Mina & Kaminari Denki
Series: Veggie Tales Songs with MHA [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809010
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Ojiro is a Monkey

“DENKI!” Mina slammed open his dorm room, startling him. 

“Huh? Did Bakugo blow something up without us again?” Denki asked, trying to collect his scattered papers he’d been trying to study. 

“Nope! But I had an epiphany!” 

“About what?” Denki asked, placing his papers to the side and standing up, anticipating chaos. 

“If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, even if it has a monkey kinda shape,” Mina started singing, grinning widely. “If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, if it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” 

“You knew that song too?” Denki asked, clapping a hand to his chest. “You grew up well I see.” 

Mina flipped nonexistent hair over her shoulder. “Of course I did! But anyway, onto my epiphany! Ojiro has a tail, therefore he’s a monkey!” 

Denki got it all at once, mirroring Mina’s enlightened expression. They stood there for a moment, grinning like idiots and pointing at each other. 

“I have a camera,” Denki said, grinning. “You have binoculars?” 

Mina grinned, getting the train of thought. “Oh yeah. Meet at Momo’s room?” 

Denki nodded, turning away to dig for his camera. He located it quickly, and moved to outside Momo’s room. Mina ran up a moment later, brandishing a pair of binoculars. She ended up knocking on Momo’s door, knowing the girl would be in there studying. 

She opened the door rather quickly, blinking at the two in confusion. “May I help you?” 

They nodded in sync. “Can you make little safari hats?” 

Momo looked even more confused, but reached down and pulled two out of her leg, handing the hats to them. “Will those do?” 

A pair of excited nods later, and she shut the door again, either not wanting to be involved with what they were planning, or just busy studying. 

They hurried up to the top floor, planning to walk down through the layers to end up in the living room, where Ojiro was last seen studying with Hagakure. With any luck, they’d end up in the living room right as they finished. 

“You can be Larry,” Mina said quickly, handing off the binoculars. “Take care of those!” 

“Same with my camera,” Denki shot back, handing it over to her. 

With that decided, they started their trek, singing as they went. 

“If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, even if it has a monkey kind of shape. If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, if it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” Denki started, singing about as loudly as he could safely go without angering the entire class. So, not very loud. “If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey.” 

“Let’s see if we can catch it on the tape,” Mina suggested, holding up her camera with a mischievous grin. 

“You can very plainly see if it’s a monkey, if it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” 

“Look, there it goes! There it goes! I don’t know! I can’t tell if it’s a monkey or an ape,” Mina cried in false distress. 

“It’s very simple Mina,” Denki told her, continuing to sing. “If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey. If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” 

“Uh, Denki, I’m not so sure…” Mina trailed off. 

“Ooga Booga, isn’t that a monkey?” Denki asked, eyes glittering with suppressed laughter. 

“Booga looga, maybe it’s an ape,” Mina returned, trying to look as serious as she could. 

“If it’s a nickel, or a salad, or a pillow, if it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” 

“If it doesn’t have a tail,” Mina asked, squinting slightly and sticking her tongue out at a very confused Jirou looking out of her room. 

“Not a monkey!” Denki confirmed. 

“Are you sure that’s what you really mean to say?” Mina wondered, tilting her head. “A camera has no tail.” She held up the camera as if to illustrate a point as they moved down a layer.

“It’s not a monkey!” Denki said, grinning. “If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!” 

“Uh, I think there’s something wrong with your logic, Denki,” Mina suggested casually. 

“Well Mina, the lady at the zoo said it, and who am I to tell her that she’s wrong? If there’s a tail, monkey. No tail, ape. It’s easy!” 

Mina pulled a not very convincing confused face. “But, Denki, A kite has a tail.” 

“Then it’s a monkey!” 

“A comet has a tail!” 

“It’s a monkey!” 

“A bubble doesn’t-”

“Then it’s not a monkey! If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey…” 

“It’s an ape?” Mina asked, faked tiredness in her voice. 

“Exactly!” Denki chirped. “I knew you’d catch on!” 

“Denki, we may need to talk about this, I don’t think the lady at the zoo meant-” Mina was cut off by Denki shushing her as they moved down another level. 

“Shh! Look, there it goes! In the trees! Follow Me! It’s gotta be a monkey or an ape!” 

They stopped right in the entrance to the living room, finding Ojiro sitting on the couch, papers and books around him, and him staring at them. Hagakure was sitting near him, also studying. 

“I can’t believe it’s true!” Denki declared, getting even more confused looks from the pair. “All this time I searched for you!” 

Mina quickly snapped a picture of Ojiro’s face, so glad Iida wasn’t there at the moment. 

“Snap the picture, take the shot!” Denki continued, playing his part masterfully. “We’re among the lucky few! We finally did it, photographer, we discovered what we’re after! Lemme look, is it an ape?” He peered dramatically through the binoculars at Ojiro’s tail in clear view where it was draped over the back of the sofa. 

“Denki, this is a disaster,” Mina sighed, rubbing her nose, internally cackling. 

“It’s a monkey!” Denki declared, pointing at Ojiro, who blinked in utter confusion. 

“Denki,” Mina cleared her throat. “That’s an Ojiro, not a-” 

“That was exhilarating!” Denki interrupted her. “Lets find more!” He looped his arm through hers, appearing to drag her off down the hall way.

Ojiro blinked after them in confusion. “Huh?” 

At that moment, Midoriya entered, wiping sweat off his forehead. “You good Ojiro? You look a little… out of it.” 

“Denki and Mina just burst in here, called him a monkey, then left,” Hagakure supplied. “Now they’re laughing.” 

Midoriya blinked in confusion. “Huh?” 

“Oh, and they were singing,” Hagakure added. “Something about tails and monkeys.” 

Midoriya’s face cleared, and he hummed a few bars of the song Mina and Denki had been singing. “Is that the song?” 

Hagakure nodded. 

Midoriya snorted. “Well, I can see why they’re laughing now. That’s an old kiddy song from an old kiddy show. I wonder if you can even find it nowadays.” 

“Probably can,” Hagakure agreed, reaching over and poking Ojiro. “Were we gonna study?”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no regrets. None.


End file.
